


Starsky's Beloved:  A Love Story

by Jen Hall (Greenlady)



Series: Twenty/Twenty [9]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:11:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenlady/pseuds/Jen%20Hall
Summary: Starsky and Hutch settle some differences.  'Hold On' from Hutch's POV.I am still writing the story of their first case in 'Combat'.  :-)





	Starsky's Beloved:  A Love Story

It wasn’t until they had graduated from the Academy and were moving into their own apartment that they had their first big fight -- not from want of trying on Hutch's part, but Starsky was remarkably resistant to his attempts at personal combat most of the time. 

He knew that Starsky was not passive or weak or unable to fight for his own way, so why did he let Hutch run things? Why hadn’t he already decided Hutch was the wrong one for him and moved on, like everyone else in his life? Hutch had spent some time trying to figure it all out. 

He remembered that several of his lovers had complained that he was too cerebral, whatever that meant. He had a brain and figured it was there to be used, as much as any other organ. Too many people seemed to be interested in another organ he possessed. Granted that organ was large, and he’d been told it was attractive, but surely his brain was as well? So, he decided to test Starsky on the topic.

‘Starsk? This magazine says that most of sex is mental, not physical.’

‘So… we make love with our minds, not our bodies?’

‘Well… both, I guess. But mostly with our minds, according to this article.’

‘You wanna test that hypothesis?’

‘Ummm… Okay.’

They had spent several weekends testing it out. Hutch couldn’t remember if they’d proven or disproven it. Somewhere toward the end it hadn’t seemed to matter.

Somewhere toward the end Hutch couldn’t remember what they were testing out exactly. The important thing was… What was important, again? Starsky hadn’t been turned off by Hutch’s cerebral approach and had proved to be brilliant at coming up with new experiments. Yes! Hutch had been putty in his hands by the end. His body. Starsky’s body. His mind. Starsky’s mind. Oh, God. Starsky’s imaginative mind, his sweet, sweet hands and mouth and cock. All working together to drive him wild. The important thing was that Starsky had not appeared to be turned off by Hutch’s cerebral capacities, at least. 

But it would end one day, he knew that. If they went on together like this, eventually Starsky would realize. Starsky would find out. Should he keep trying to hide all his faults for as long as possible, or should he head Starsky off at the pass? Force the issue? Ask him if he could deal with this fault and that fault if Hutch tried to improve? 

Sometimes he ached with loneliness for Starsky when the man was lying in bed beside him. He would reach for his lover and Starsky always responded. What would he do when Starsky came to his senses and left him? What would make him leave?

Some former lovers had complained that he was bossy. He tried bossing Starsky around a bit more. The man laughed. Laughed, and gave in. A few times he complained, and this terrified Hutch. It wasn’t that he thought his ideas about things were the best, let alone the only ideas. But if Starsky could figure out how wrong Hutch was, he could figure out he didn’t need him. Except for sex. That was always good.

Hutch told Starsky he was going away for the weekend. Alone. 

‘Aww. Babe? What’s wrong? Don’t you love me any longer?’ But he was smiling, as if this wasn’t a horrible suggestion. If Starsky had told him that….

‘I-I-I just need to be alone.’

‘Okay. Whatever you need. Call me?’

‘Of-of course.’

He hadn’t made it through the first night. He’d called Starsky and the man had driven out to Hutch’s motel room in the middle of the night. 

‘I needed to see if I could be alone,’ Hutch tried to explain.

‘I know. I understand. We’ve been joined at the hip since we met. Am I smothering you?’

‘Oh, God. Baby, baby. Smother me all you want.’ Again, he was putty in those sweet, loving hands. This was becoming impossible. He decided to back off for now. Just give in and enjoy the show until they had finished with the Academy. See what happened then.

Then: Starsky had freaked at the number of books Hutch possessed, stored in that big locker, and granted Hutch himself didn’t remember why he’d kept them all. But they were his. They’d been his companions through the horrors of his marriage and divorce. They hadn’t spat upon his sex life. They hadn’t turned on him and left him alone. They hadn’t given him ultimatums or…. 

Neither had Starsky. Neither did Starsky now. Hutch had turned down his suggestion that they ask a friend with a truck to help them move. Starsky had whined a little but given in. God! Did the man have no limits? 

Maybe not. He’d helped Hutch move the books, until Hutch suggested he take a break. But then, after he carried a couple of boxes up the stairs himself -- just to demonstrate how macho he was, according to Starsky – he found his lover with an open box, and his degree from Harvard in his hands. Demanding an explanation. Shouting at him for an explanation.

An explanation of what, exactly? This was Starsky’s limit? This was the thing he did that broke them up? And Hutch couldn’t even figure out what it was he’d done wrong, as usual.

‘Get back here you bastard,’ Starsky screamed. Starsky was screaming at him to come back, not to leave him. It made no sense. 

Hutch tried to calm him down, figuring he was just tired and hungry. Surely he didn’t mean it when he said he’d shoot Hutch if he tried to leave. He had stopped on the stairs for a moment on his way down to lock up the car, feeling a thrill go down his spine at that threat. It made him dizzy. Does he mean it, he wondered? Does he want me that much?

It turned out Starsky wanted to know all about his pathetic life and was angry that Hutch had told him nothing about it. Hutch told him, and Starsky listened. He told Starsky about the scary gaps in his memory, and Starsky listened. He’d also threatened to kill everyone who had ever hurt his lover and that had been sweet, like a kind of love-making, as if he were the most important person in Starsky’s life, and the man would risk everything to care for him. 

They’d engaged in other kinds of love-making that night as well. At one point in an intimate conversation, Hutch had confessed to being afraid Starsky would leave him, and Starsky had promised not to. 

‘My Beloved is mine, and I am his,’ Starsky had whispered. ‘The Lord be between me and thee forever.’


End file.
